We don't know who the hell Gossip Girls are or Chace Crawford or whatever but we were sent this-- and we do know good advice when we see it. In this case however it is a bit like pointing out peanuts in shit (which might be a good haze) so we will point them out to the pledges out there- editors' notes in green text.
How To Avoid a Bromance With Your Frat Bros
As we all wait with bated breath for the man skirt trend to hit, Gossip Girl stars Chace Crawford and Ed Westwick are working towards the ultimate “feminizing” of the common 20-something male... Crawford and Westwick are victims of the growing cultural phenomenon, snowballing into popularity, called bromance. Sharing some congruity with romance, the bromance, which... is described by the Urban Dictionary as an uncharacteristically close relationship between two straight males.
In the bromance paradigm, sexuality is not even an issue, it’s classified by man-giggling at your bro’s jokes, expertly pontificating about insignificant subjects,
Men always endlessly pontificate and with a few beers laugh at anything, including making chicks lonely and insecure. We kid.
(and) spending so much time in your bro’s presence that you’ve forgotten your attraction to women, and ultimately developing a "crush" on your best male friend.
Wait, "forgotten your attraction to women"? If dude isn't with his dude friend finding some on- the- side shacking opportunities and has "forgotten his attraction to women" he's on- the- other- team.
Never fear, false adoration happens to the best of us. Unfortunately, er, Crawford and Westwick cannot be saved because they are too far gone, they live, work, and play (?!?!) together. Before you swipe the card on a pseudo-kilt, here’s some tips on identifying the signs of a bromance.
The “Hang Out” Routine
Males inherently make time for their male friends; it’s just something they do. Guys night out was even a staple with Jesus (tell me that the story of Jesus and his disciples is not just a long description of male homo-social tendencies?)
This chick is pushing it talking about Jesus Christ, our lord and savior as encouraging ass piracy. Oh, homo-SOCIAL. K.
As for bromance candidates, it’s less hanging out, and more intimacy. If you find yourself clearing your calendar to hang out with the “man” in your life, it’s time to revamp the schedule.
Man In, Women Out
You and your girlfriend (or crush) used to do stuff together, then it dawns on you – where is that girl? In the second it took for that thought to cross your mind, you think, oh, well I’ll just call Pete.
(Pump the brakes)
If you notice the women in your life have fallen out of your sight, then it’s quite possible you are suffering from bromance-mania. Calm down, regroup, and phone a female.
Ok, that's the good advice. Set up a little time for dealing with females in your life. Bros before hoes, not bros instead of hoes. Get it straight.
Those That Groom Together, Swoon Together
Discussing your look is one thing, but taking tips from each other and partaking in male grooming at the same time…is pushing it. For example, a group waxing scene a lá Forty-Year-Old Virgin, just unacceptable – good for comedy, bad for perception.
No, he cannot help you put pomade in your hair for that piece-y look.
No, he should not be trying to look like a douchebag anyway
No, he should not help you remove body hair.
No, he may not come into the dressing room with you to survey the tightness of the shirt you picked up at American Eagle.
Again, he should not be trying to look like a douchebag anyway OR he's a queer so why don't you just all move on with life and you shack with a real fratstar to help you forget.
Save yourself the awkward stares.
We all the agree male bonding and friendship is necessary. Men need each other in a sense, but then there’s crossing that fine line of attending Super Saturday in the Hamptons to gush over Alexander McQueen skull scarves (just a little on the sketch side).
Okay Miss, your boyfriend's gay AND he's a douchebag majore. In the words of the fictitious post grad fratter Chazz Rhinehold, "What? What an idiot! What a loser! Good! Good! More for you and me."
- Not for Four Years
1 comment:
De Ni Al! How dumb is the girl that wrote that article. Her boyfriend's "bromance" is in her mind. He's obviously a flaming ass pirate and she's his cover. He's wasting a good dumb chick.
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