Cornell is Fratting Harder Than You Today, (IG Excerpt)

Thank God that Cornell sororities are upholding standards in a world where so few do; and the fraternities too.

 

Hazing Rituals of a Cornell Fraternity: Elitist as Stomach-Churning as any Frat

A description: ALPHA DELT (Alpha Delta Phi): Upper tier. These guys look straight out of a Vineyard Vines/Brooks Brothers catalogue. If you don’t know what either of those brands are, you don’t even belong in the vicinity of Alpha Delt. Ridiculously wealthy, ridiculously preppy, but not in a down to earth or chill way. These guys are just mildly stuck up from my experience. Granted, they have one of the most beautiful houses, a real epitome of classy Ivy League architecture and one of the largest open parties of the year on Halloween (Thumpty’s party takes their runoff.) Zero diversity, everyone went to a New England Prep School.

A wayward memo from Alpha Delta Phi's Cornell chapter reveals naked jogging, live animals, pornography, and a smoothie made from dog food, tabasco, and sour cream. Or, as it is known at Taco Bell, nachos grande. Testimony from a pledge. Here's the summary:

• Forced to chug a slurry of dogfood, tabasco sauce, and sour cream;
• Run relay races, while blackout drunk, through the great halls of the ADPhi manor–filled with flour, beer, and water–while being pelted with dodgeballs;
• Jog naked laps outside the house in the below-freezing Ithaca winter;
• Stand outside in a "lineup" for two hours, with only a shirt, jacket, tie and slacks.

Standing in line wearing a tie for two hours is an abuse comparable to chugging dog food? Get ready for recession job fairs, kids! Anyway, IvyGate also published an internal ADPhi memo to pledges advising them on their live goldfish, the procurement of pornography (what are they middle schoolers?), trips to a store called Dick, and obedience to a flogger named Shep.

—— Forwarded message ——
From: "Alexander [redacted]" <[redacted]@cornell.edu>
Date: Mar 4, 2010 11:42 AM
Subject: LINEUP TONIGHT

To:
Its that time again boys, with new rules.
Be at the bottom of Alpha Delta Phi Drive at 9:10 PM tonight, and each of us must have:

-1 pack of cigs
-1 lighter

-gum

-2 quarters
-a helmet and a cup (as in the kind lacrosse and hockey players wear)

-shaving cream
-porn (can be magazine or video… extra points if you find Pirates 2 (can be downloaded and burned))
-Dog food

-either a 6 pack of beer or a bottle of liquor/wine (should be something YOU want to drink)

-Protocol attire, but WEAR SNEAKERS
The pledge class as a whole must have these items:

-1 LARGE bottle of tabasco sauce
-2 cases of beer (NOT keystone)

-2 live small goldfish
Figure this shit out ASAP.  Everyone should probably give Shep money to buy the booze.


The young pledges were:

• Forced to chug a slurry of dogfood, tabasco sauce, and sour cream;
• Run relay races, while blackout drunk, through the great halls of the ADPhi manor–filled with flour, beer, and water–while being pelted with dodgeballs;
• Jog naked laps outside the house in the below-freezing Ithaca winter;
• Stand outside in a “lineup” for two hours, with only a shirt, jacket, tie and slacks. Likely in single digit temps. 
• Who knows what else.

---------------------


Sometimes these things can be taken to extremes.

Cornell Chapter of Legendarily Fratty Pi Kappa Alpha

BRO. Pikes are the most awesome frat EVER. They've graduated the universe's biggest, dumbest, most dangerously drunk assholes around, and paths of property and physical/emotional destruction are their calling cards. Like hazing multiple Cornell rushes into alcohol poisoning.